As mentioned in our previous lessons, Meta-Programs can be divided into 3 large categories as they act as filters on:

1. Our PERCEPTION of things, people and events
2. The way we PROCESS INFORMATION
3. The CHOICES we make in life

In this lesson, we will explore the Meta-Programs of Choices and see how those influence (and limit) the choices we make in life. The Meta-Programs of Choices are:

1. Representation of an experience: association vs. dissociation
2. Type of motivation: establishing relations by personal interest (sorting by “self”) or for others (sorting by “others”)
3. Direction of motivation: moving toward vs. moving away
4. Dynamic of motivation: proactive, reactive, receptive, passive
5. Choice strategies: procedures vs. options
6. Independent vs. teamwork preference
7. Persuasion strategies and learning strategies
   

Meta-Programs of Choice (Motivations and Decisions)

Association vs. Dissociation

When you look at different objects, people or events, do you first perceive what they have in common or what differentiates them? Do you see what can unite things or only what opposes them?

Type of Motivation: Establishing Relations by Personal Interest (Sorting by “Self”) or for Others (Sorting by “Others”)

When interacting with others, do you always look at what is in it for you, or do you primarily focus on the needs of others? At one end of the spectrum some people will always look at their interactions in terms of what they need for themselves. They will not pay much attention to the needs of others, and their thoughts, speech and actions will be based on their own interest. It is easy to understand that people who always and exclusively focus on their own needs may have problems in their interactions with others. At the other end of the spectrum, some people seem to always show concern for others. They make decisions based on what they can do for others. At an extreme, they always deny their own needs in their desire to make others happy; it is easy to understand how this can also have deleterious effects if it is the only strategy used all the time.

Again, both aspects are necessary for healthy interactions and relationships. Ideally, one should be able to look at both aspects and try to do what is best for both at the same time.

Direction of Motivation (Moving Toward vs. Moving Away)

When you make decisions, are you energetic, curious, bold, or are you prudent, worrying and trying to protect yourself? Do you focus on the positive and move “toward” things you want, or do you focus on the negative and move “away” from things you do not want?

Many people look at life through a unique lens, and have adopted one or the other direction, which they use consistently and often inappropriately. If you’re always bold and imprudent, you may run into trouble more often than necessary; on the other hand, if you are too prudent or worried, you may be unable to move forward and miss good opportunities. Ideally, one can adapt and use both strategies depending on the situation.

Dynamic of Motivation (Proactive, Reactive, Receptive, Passive)

Do you initiate things (a proactive person), or do you mostly act in reaction to events and people (a reactive person)? A receptive person looks at things as they are; things that do not necessarily require an action. Passive people neither act nor react.

Choice Strategies (Procedures vs. Options)

Do you need to plan things in advance and follow a set plan, or do you prefer to remain opened to all possibilities and ‘play it by ear’ as things happen?

Independent vs. Team Player

Some people have difficulties working in a group. They are independent or may have difficulty working if they feel watched. Others function much better inside a group. Others will function by proximity: they can work with others but remain independent and remain in control. They want to be part of a team but want to do their part of the work by themselves.

Conviction Strategies and Learning Strategies

What is needed to convince you of something? Do you need to see by yourself? Would it be sufficient to hear from another reliable person?

People who always need to see by themselves will take longer to react to situations than those who can trust less direct sources of information. This can be good or bad depending on the circumstances. Some situations require quick action, others require more certainty. In some instances, you may miss great opportunities if you never trust other sources of information; in others, you may lose a lot if you act too hastily without conducting the required verifications. Again, the ideal is to be able to switch from one strategy to the other, as required by the situation.

Similarly, how long does it take you to be convinced of the value of something or someone: Immediately? After several times (e.g., 3 times)? After a certain time (e.g., 6 months)? Never?

Learning strategies: We may prefer to learn by reading, by observing others, by doing, from our own experience etc. Adopting only one learning strategy throughout your life will limit your learning experiences. Being able to use a wide variety of learning strategies depending on the situation will increase your learning experience and possibilities.

Although the Meta-Programs one uses may often appear as “set” patterns and even as “conditioned reflexes”, it is important to understand that, notwithstanding the origin of one’s “programs”, those can be changed. Undesirable “programs” can be identified and replaced by more successful patterns. Our brain can be “rewired” and the key is self-awareness.

A good mentor or life coach is able to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and help them change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour, in order for them to maximize their inner strength, channel their energy and explore the true potential that they’ve always had inside them.

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As mentioned in our previous lessons, Meta-Programs can be divided into 3 large categories as they act as filters on:

1. Our PERCEPTION of things, people and events
2. The way we PROCESS INFORMATION
3. The CHOICES we make in life

Today, we will explore the Meta-Programs of “Treatment of Information” and see how those play a crucial role in our life and successes. The Meta-Programs of “Treatment of Information” are:

1. Satisfaction vs. dissatisfaction
2. Origin of motivation: internal vs. external
3. Mode of motivation: possibility vs. necessity
4. Time representation (associated vs. dissociated)
5. Time reference (positioning self in far/near past, present or near/far future)
   

Meta-Programs of Treatment of Information

Satisfaction vs. Dissatisfaction

When something happens, do you concentrate primarily on what you like or do you focus on what you dislike? Or do you look at both and compare?

Internal vs. External Frame of Reference

Are you proud of the work you’ve done because you feel and know it is good, or do you need feedback from others to tell you so?

If you want to invite an “internal frame of reference” person to a conference you would say something like: “You know that theory that you like, I found a seminar that talks exactly like that, I am sure you will like it”. If, however, you want to invite an “external frame of reference” person to the same conference, you would say things differently: “Come to this presentation, all the critics are unanimous that it’s fantastic, and everybody I know went and they found it extraordinary.”

Internal vs. External Motivation

This Meta-Program should not be confused with the previous one. When you make a choice, do you always follow your own convictions or do you do it as a function of what others may think, say or do? Do you make decisions based on what you feel or think is right, or do you need to hear what others have to say first and then choose based on what the authoritative opinion or consensus is?

Why do you read the daily news every day? Why do you read Shakespeare, Ernest Hemingway or Virginia Wolfe? Is it because you are curious or think that those readings will expand your vision of the world? Or is it because you are afraid to be seen as an ignorant if you don’t, or because you want to display your erudition at the dinner table? Did you choose to become a doctor because that is what you always wanted deep inside or because, consciously or unconsciously, you wanted to please your parents?

Both internal and external motivations are required depending on the situation. Someone with no external motivation at all will be completely selfish; someone with weak internal and too much external motivations may not be able to recognize his own internal voices. That person will live the life of others and not his own. We often see those people constantly hesitating and changing their mind; they are literally struggling between what they really want and what they think others will think or say. Here again, the key is in the ability to switch from one Meta-Program to the other, as required by the situation.

Motivation (Possibility vs. Necessity)

Do you do things because you want and desire to do so, or because you feel that you must or have to?

People motivated by necessity will be very productive in an environment where tasks are well defined and where they know what they have to do. They will look at issues that need to be solved.

People motivated by possibilities will seek options, opportunities and new experiences, and will remain open to the unknown. They will think ‘out of the box’ and try to look at all possible ways to do something.

Too much “necessity” may lead someone to miss great opportunities. When you tell yourself: “I must…”, “I should…”, “I cannot…” or “I should not”, also ask yourself the following questions: “What or who obliges me to do that…?”, “What would really happen if I don’t do that…?

Too much “possibility” on the other hand may lead someone to never take action. Setting goals, developing an action plan and being accountable may help in this situation.

Time Representation (Associated vs. Dissociated)

Do you live “in time” or “through time”? The person “associated” with time lives the present moment without fretting over the past or the future. The person “dissociated” from time sees the past, present and future at the same time. Those two will also have a different perception of time continuity. The individual “associated” with time will see time as discontinued sequences, as if each moment was independent from the precedent and the subsequent moments; they live “in time”. The individual “dissociated” from time will perceive time as a continuum where all moments are part of one continuum; they live “through time”. As a consequence, “associated” people are also in tune with their internal sensations while “dissociated” people often appear to be cut off from their feelings.

Time Reference

Do you have a tendency to make decisions based on the past (your past experiences), the present (according to the elements present at the time of the decision making) or the future (results to achieve)? Constantly making decisions based on past events is often the result of fear, and may greatly limit your vision and successes. On the other hand, if you never look back, you may repeat the same mistakes. Big achievers will move through all three aspects: they will focus on the result to be achieved, use all the elements present at the time of decisions and ensure they apply the lessons learnt from past experiences without fear.

As you can see, my Meta-Programs define how I perceive the world and can have a significant impact on my achievements and successes.

Next time, we will explore the third and last category of Meta-Programs: Meta-Programs of Choices. We will see how those can influence (and limit) the choices we make in life.

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As mentioned in our previous lesson, Meta-Programs can be divided into 3 large categories as they act as filters on:

1. Our PERCEPTION of things, people and events
2. The way we PROCESS INFORMATION
3. The CHOICES we make in life

Today, we will explore the Meta-Programs of Perception and see how those influence our life and successes. The Meta-Programs of perception are:

1. Primary Filters (first level of sorting—preferential awareness of people, information, activities, location, things etc. when interacting with others)
2. Details vs. big picture / logic vs. feeling
3. Match vs. mismatch / similarities vs. differences
4. Visual, auditory, kinaesthetic learning styles
5. Best-case vs. worst-case scenario thinking / optimistic vs. pessimistic thinking
   

Primary Filters (First Level of Sorting—Preferential Awareness of People, Information, Activities, Location, Things Etc. When Interacting With Others)

When communicating with people, how do you sort out information? What do you notice first: people, information, activities, location, things etc.?

It is interesting to note that people filter information not only according to their interests, but also according to their pre-conceived ideas, beliefs and “childhood scripts”. People will unconsciously filter and retain information that confirms a vision of the world and a “life plan” that they adopted as a child, and will dismiss information that does not. We can say that people will often have a tendency to interpret, redefine, and even distort reality in order for it to match their established vision of life.

Being aware of your filter “preferences” may help you realize that there are many other aspects of a question that you may need to explore before drawing conclusions; it can make you see opportunities that you would otherwise have missed.

Fields of Perception (Details vs. Big Picture / Logic vs. Feeling)

Which cerebral hemisphere do you use?

The left hemisphere cuts information into little pieces and likes to focus on details. The right hemisphere looks at the broader picture and has a more global perception of a situation. Some people prefer to deal with generalities and focus on the ‘big picture’. Other people prefer to focus on small and very specific details.

The left hemisphere follows logic; the right hemisphere is more intuitive. Do you make your decisions based on precise numbers or after having analysed each little part and determining that each of them is feasible, or can you throw yourself in a project just after having been convinced by a global concept?

Ideally, people should be able to use both fields of perception depending on the situation or the person they are dealing with. People using only one will often confuse or irritate each other if they are trying to reach a common decision. The “detail” person will often think that the “big picture” person is disconnected from the day to day reality. The “big picture” person will think that the “detail” person is unable to understand the full picture or the overall goal.

Match vs. Mismatch / Similarities vs. Differences

When you look at things, people or situations, do you first notice similarities or differences? Is your attention drawn by what you know or suits you first, or by what you do not know, and goes against your values or against your reference system?

“Match” people will find it very difficult to work with “mismatch” people when it comes to building something together. While “match” people are trying to put things together, the “mismatch” person with his “yes, but…” objections may be perceived as unwilling to work in a team. On the other hand, the “mismatch” person’s input may become invaluable when it comes to identifying the flaws in an otherwise apparently great project.

Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic Learning Styles

Which sense do you prefer when treating information? Are you visual, auditory or kinaesthetic?

It is important to understand the different styles. The kinaesthetic husband coming back from work and kissing and hugging his wife in order to show his love, may feel rejected if his auditory wife says: “that’s enough, get off me, it’s time to prepare dinner now”. He may then become somehow irritated if at a later time she says: “You never tell me that you love me”. For good communication, it is important to understand the various styles and the style of the person you are dealing with.

In business, you will not easily sell a car to a kinaesthetic person in describing all the technical characteristics of the car—that strategy would probably worked better with an auditory person. However, you will have much better chances to get a sale from your kinaesthetic customer if you invite that person to sit in the car, feel the comfort of the seats, and feel the newly designed ergonomic steering wheel.

Best-Case vs. Worst-Case Scenario Thinking (Optimist vs. Pessimistic)

Are you always focusing on all the bad things that might happen or on the good things that can happen? Trying to foresee what can go wrong in a situation may be good if you want to prevent problems; however, focusing only on the worst case scenario may prevent you from taking action when it is necessary.

As you can see, my Meta-Programs define how I see the world and can have a significant impact on my achievements and successes.

Over the next few days, we will explore the two other categories of Meta-Programs: Meta-Programs of Information Processing and Meta-Programs of Choices.

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1. The psychology of success and Meta-Programs
2. What are Meta-Programs?
3. How do they affect our life and successes?
4. Learn how to identify them and use them to your advantage

The Psychology of Success and Meta-Programs

In the study of success principles and the psychology of success, we often encounter the notion of ‘Meta-Programs’. Other closely related concepts include the notions of “Childhood Scripts” in Transactional Analysis and “Complexes” in Analytical or Jungian Psychology. We also find the concept of Internal Dialogue or Self Talk.

Although those concepts may not necessarily describe the same psychological processes, they all have something in common: they refer to patterns of thoughts (brain wiring), unconscious filters and automatisms that we adopt very early in life, most probably before the age of seven. Those automatisms govern not only our thoughts, but also our perceptions of reality, feelings, internal dialogue, interpretation and reactions to events—throughout the rest of our adult life.

Some people have undeniably developed effective and successful patterns; others repetitively use ineffective—and sometimes destructive—patterns without even noticing it. Those patterns partly explain how successful people get what they want in life, while others seems to always be struggling without being able to achieve what they want.

In this short series of articles, we will explore our Meta-Programs—what they are, how they affect our successes and our life in general, and how we can identify them and use them to our advantage.

What Are Meta-Programs?

Meta-Programs can be defined as strategies we use to sort out things, people or events. In this article, we will explore the most commonly described Meta-Programs.

At the onset, it is important to understand that there is no “bad” Meta-Program in itself. Ideally, one should be able to switch from one Meta-Program to another depending on the situation. However, the reality is that people have often learnt and integrated one Meta-Program at the expense of others. They get “stuck” with one pattern, and constantly use the same Meta-Program regardless of the situation or context. When our level of stress increases for instance, we have a tendency to unconsciously revert to the same patterns of thoughts and reactions, even if they are not adapted to the situation that has triggered them. As Meta-Programs act like “filters”, the tendency to use the same Meta-Program and the same “filter” all the time often leads to misinterpretation of events, misunderstanding of other people, development of frustrations, missing opportunities, and this literally often leads to failure.

Meta-Programs can be divided into 3 large categories as they act as filters on:

1. Our PERCEPTION of things, people and events
2. The way we PROCESS INFORMATION
3. The CHOICES we make in life

Here is a list of most commonly described Meta-Programs.

Meta-Programs of Perception

Primary Filters (first level of sorting—preferential awareness of people, information, activities, location, things etc. when interacting with others)

1. Details vs. big picture / logic vs. feeling
2. Match vs. mismatch / similarities vs. differences
3. Visual, auditory, kinaesthetic learning styles
4. Best-case vs. worst-case scenario thinking / optimistic vs. pessimistic thinking

Meta-Programs of Treatment of Information

1. Satisfaction vs. dissatisfaction
2. Origin of motivation: internal vs. external
3. Mode of motivation: possibility vs. necessity
4. Time representation (associated vs. dissociated)
5. Time reference (positioning self in far/near past, present or near/far future)

Meta-Programs of Choice (Motivations and Decisions)

1. Representation of an experience: association vs. dissociation
2. Type of motivation: establishing relations by personal interest (sorting by “self”) or for others (sorting by “others”)
3. Direction of motivation: moving toward vs. moving away
4. Dynamic of motivation: proactive, reactive, receptive, passive
5. Choice strategies: procedures vs. options
6. Independent vs. teamwork preference
7. Persuasion strategies and learning strategies

Over the next few days, we will explore the most common Meta-Programs and learn how they influence our life and our successes.

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